I know, I know. I’m a little late on this. But it’s better that I actually take the time to think things through than blindly make resolutions.
Two years ago, I made very internal resolution – allow myself to be open to a future that was much different than what I pictured. That opened up an entirely new perspective that showed me that journalism could be used for something much more important than accumulating bylines. That was followed by last year’s very physical goal of no sodas for a year and more pushups (success tastes so much sweeter than syrupy drinks).
So, naturally, I figured that means I’m back to focusing on an internal change, right? Well, this year is definitely going to bring it’s own set of challenges that I know will change me internally whether I want it or not. Because of that, I feel taking on a narrowly focused, highly internal resolution would be hubris. But there are some things I know I want to move toward. Ergo, the list.
:. Learn a new language. Specifically, Thai
:. Get better at yoga (mostly because I want to be able to pull off epic handstands)
:. Stop avoiding (read “being scared of” ) emotions. I think once that starts to change I’ll be more open to God using my emotions toward things and people to either teach me more of His characteristics (in deep love, sadness, joy). It would also spark action even if there was a lot of risk (selflessness without fear of personal hurt). I desire to love like Jesus – fearless, pure, genuine – and that goes against my nature of loving safely, which ends up being pretty selfish because it means I experience a limited form of loving others because I am working hard not to get hurt. And true love is completely selfless.
:. Write letters. Lots of them. To all my besties.
:. Figure out church. I can’t just coast here without a good community. It’s not working out, and I can feel myself justifying selfish desires because of the lack of accountability.
:. Stop procrastinating. I bought a planner. Dad, if you end up reading this I’ll be waiting for the “I told you so” text.
:. Read. More than the stuff I’m copy editing at work. Three-ish books a month would be perfect.
:. Continue setting goals for running. I worked way too hard to make running a habit. I really don’t want to lose that. Now that I know my body won’t break down with distance, I’m ready to start working on speed. I guess this means I’ll be running my tail off.
:. Sleep well. In bed by 12:30 and up before 7. My body is going to need rest as I dedicate time and effort to all of this. And that starts now.